Godly Friendships in a Worldly World

I was listening to a podcast recently about godly friendships and what it truly means in a world of worldly people. It really struck me how deep friendships can be. This will be one of the last posts of 2025, so, enjoy!

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About a month ago, I was at my cousin’s house for the day. We watched a movie, ate snacks, and played games, just fooling around. My aunt kicked us outside that afternoon, so we went for a walk to the park. My sister and other cousin walked ahead of us, and while they were goofing off, my cousin and I talked. The conversation shifted from silly teen stuff to the real stuff—the things we usually keep hidden underneath. We discussed our faith life: our church’s small differences, worship songs that made us want to dance and cry at the same time, and even the doubts we each struggled with. Right then and there, sitting in the soft rain on the playground bench, we decided to pray daily for each other.

Friendships in a Worldly World

That day with my cousin reminded me that we can't surround ourselves with Christians and godly friends like her 24/7. We’re called to be a light to those who don’t know Jesus, but we still need lights in our own lives. Writing is a big part of my life, and only about a month ago, I was feeling discouraged with my progress. I talked it over with one of my writing friends, and she really took the time to encourage me and give me some tips, pointing me back to the reason I write: Jesus. Sometimes our sight can be clouded by social media, peer pressure, or body image. This world will try to lure us with traps and snares like school friend drama, body image, or isolation, drawing us into the crushing lie that we aren’t enough. Godly friends remind us of our true identity in Christ (Psalm 139:14): loved and valuable. Proverbs 27:17 (ESV) reads, “Iron sharpens iron, and one person sharpens another.” If you surround yourself with godly friends, how do you think you will act compared to those of this world? My friendship with my cousin didn’t take one visit. It took us 14 years to get to the point we are at now. Friendships don’t happen overnight.

The Three Phases of Building a Strong Friendship

Just like my 14-year friendship with my cousin, most godly and strong connections don’t happen overnight—they grow through these three stages straight from Proverbs.

Phase 1: The Beginning of Friendship (“A friend loves at all times…” Proverbs 17:17a)

This year I went to a new school, and the first thing my new friend did was make me laugh. I felt welcomed right away. When your friendship first starts, it feels perfect—and you easily overlook flaws. This joy is a gift from God—He designed us for community!

Phase 2: The Testing of Friendship (“…and a brother is born for a time of adversity.” Proverbs 17:17b)

After getting to know them more, you realize this person isn’t perfect—they have flaws and make mistakes too. This stage is where the arguments come in. You may get into a fight. If you can get past this step, you’ll find the friendship of phase three. Going back to my friend from school, we did everything together. We’re both pretty headstrong and have gotten pretty annoyed at each other over some projects because we both want to do it differently. But only by pushing through and forgiving each other will the third phase come.

Phase 3: The Depth of Friendship (“There is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” Proverbs 18:24)

Now you see your differences as blessings. You can talk about deeper things, like faith, church, or prayer. Sharing personal things becomes easier because you’ve accepted each other’s differences. This is the phase my cousin and I are in right now—we can share pretty much anything. Your friendships should reflect Jesus, just like the friend described in Proverbs 18:24. Disagreements will happen, but praying together makes it even stronger.

Keeping Your Friendship Focused on Christ

Finally, here are some biblical tips to build your friendship on Christ.

• Center your friendship on Christ: "Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly…” (Colossians 3:16 ESV)

• Speak the truth in love: Be honest when your friend is struggling with sin, but do it with gentleness and humility (Ephesians 4:15 ESV).

• Prioritize forgiveness and grace: Offenses will happen. Forgive completely. Don’t let resentment build. ("... if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive." Colossians 3:13 ESV).

• Pray for each other consistently: Actually pray for each other—together when possible. ("Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another…” James 5:16).

• Guard against gossip: Refuse to speak negatively about your friend behind their back or with others. (Matthew 18:15)

• Serve together: Do ministry, volunteer, or simply help each other in practical ways. (Galatians 5:13).

• Celebrate and mourn together: Show up for the highs and the lows—don’t run away during hard seasons (Romans 12:15).

• Pursue humility, not competition: Avoid comparing or envy. Cheer their successes as if they were your own ("Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others." Philippians 2:3–4).

• Make time, even when life gets busy: Schedule regular check-ins.

• Point each other to Jesus, not to yourself: The goal isn’t for them to need you—it’s for both of you to need Jesus more together. (“...with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love.” Ephesians 4:2 ESV)

That rainy day taught me what true friendship looks like: Jesus. Who are your current friends—are they pointing you to the cross, or the world? “Behold, how good and pleasant it is when brothers dwell in unity!” (Psalm 133:1 ESV). We were designed for community—let your friendship reflect Christ.

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Hope you enjoyed this post! Until next time, I'm Jacqueline